she's got inkspots on her hands

It had been 19 months and in that time both my tonsils and hearing had been thieved. A rainy, crazy humid November night was the perfect time to make a comeback, it seems. My voice had been clawing and begging its way up my windpipe trying to get out for months, it had earned a night out in the little town of the east village.

My newest song is a bit dusty to be calling new, but it made its debut at Bar on A. For now I'm calling it "Inkspots", it's about a girl - a girl who could be your everything, if you would just let her. A sampling of words: she'll be the one who makes you bitter / she'll be the one who makes it better / she'll be the one to tear the stars / she'll be the one who leaves a mark / she'll be the one who makes you feel like home.

Thank you thank you to: Ben, Christine, Dan, Dave, David, Evan, Jennie, Jessica, Jodi, JZ, Kim, Mark, Marissa, Michael, Nick, Nico, Sam, Shannon, Tammy & the guy from Project Runway.

And thank you to my new friend Patrick Salt Ryan, and my dear old friend Reverend Timmy James, not just for the invitation, the capo and the lo-fi sound mixing, but for their incredible talents as well. Two very tall men, with even taller words. Set to tall music.

Thank you all for listening.
xo | punk

going back to the midwest, where it's sunny

Dave carries a pocket flashlight, and feels bad for anyone who doesn't.

I grew up here / under pavement / then burst up / through the sidewalk / and I never did tell you / that I make my days hoping you'll take me home. Those are some lyrics from the middle of "Going Back to Minneapolis" (where they liked me).

Thank you Christine, Christy, Dave, Nick, Sam, English Sam, Tim, Valerie & Vinnie. For clapping, laughing and hollering.

leave the restless ghost in his old hotel

go fix your twitching brow

01.10.07 - The winter roses bent over and made a pathway to Jimmy's No. 43 on East 7th Street. There I played an unprepared but very sincere set of songs chosen totally at random. My favorite (and Dave's) was Another Witching Hour, I like it more every time I play it with other people in the room. I meant every word when I wrote it, and Mike Jay taught me the chord that allowed the chorus to happen. It's a song about how easy it is to be with me ("everything's simpler now / I won't crowd you / and you won't stop the rain"), and how much boys will generally screw that up. In the song, I call that "clever". Which it's not, it's actually pretty ordinary.

Next time I think I'll make a set list. And practice. And stop trying to fight with the cat; clearly it can yell louder than me.

Rev Timmy played before me (that's him, below) and he was fantastic. Even sans whiskey he rocked all of the right places. And he didn't talk about hockey once. But he did play Plastic Jesus, it was all very spiritual - him being a reverend and the jesus song and all that.

Thank you, very much, to: Amy, Anthony, Christine, Christy, Dave, Ethan, Lilly, Nick, Tim, Valerie, Vanessa, Vinnie & Brady.

And to Sam, who asked the roses if they wouldn't mind bending for the night.

i can't keep track of each falling robin

Way back in October, I played a show at the Continental. October 18th to be exact. I was really out of sorts that day and I didn't think I could make it, but the Continental is exactly 2 1/2 blocks from my apartment and it seemed like a silly thing not to go. It was really Ricky's night of acoustic tricks and fancies, but I was glad to be a part.

I can't remember everyone there, because I like to say thank you here for coming... I remember Michael, and Libby. And I remember Heather singing lyrics to the songs I forgot the words to. I tried to play "Now I'm Fingered" and couldn't get past the first verse.

I played Leonard Cohen's "Chelsea Hotel #2" for the first time, and that was great. He's great. I like reading his books because they're not so much a long, book-length narrative but more like a collection of unbelievable poems, moments and very short stories.

Those are the interesting parts I remember, and this post is far overdue... as are many things.

Then I ain't nothing

Billie Holiday once wrote: "I guess I'm not the only one who heard their first good jazz in a whorehouse." Wait, wrong quote... She also said: "If I don't have friends, then I ain't nothing." Despite battling prostitution, racism and a killer heroin addiction, she was incredibly talented with against-the-odds kind of smarts. She was alone in a way that I understand, and she's so right in having said that.

Wow, you people were amazing. Thank you Cyril, Dan, Dave, Jennifer, Jessica, John, Lilly, Mark, Melissa, Mike Jay, Millie, Monica, Nick, Redboy, Rich, Ricky, Rob, Ryan, Shelby, Skip, Tim, Tom, and Zack. The cameo appearances were truly stellar.

I suppose my favorite performance was "Another Witching Hour" because it's new, and I really mean it and becuase there's a chord in there that Mike Jay taught me how to play. That song goes a little like this: I'm sitting on my hands / I've bit through my lip / but I don't think I'll complain. / I'll smile sweetly now / with bedroom eyes / and you'll think I'm insane.

I don't have too much else to say because I was left sort of speechless. Thank you to Lilly for taking photos, to Tom for yelling the loudest inappropriate and appropriate things, to John and Mark for the impromptu and completely ineffective dance lesson, to Master Shake for walking without legs, to Morgan for making me sound pretty, and to Ricky for always making everything happen.

Planning This for Decades

The set list for Mickey's Blue Room landed on my forearm (incredibly uninteresting photo below), which was actually so much easier to read than sharpie on paper from the floor. Maybe Dave will invent an armband that I can write on... No, then it'll look too much like an 'arm sock' which is something I don't understand and wish girls who play (or in most cases, don't bother to actually play) the rock and roll wouldn't wear. They're just sending the wrong message to the kids with their ill-fated hair color and horrible arm socks. It's a fucking sock. That's not where you put it.

I snuck in some really, really old songs, and didn't play either of the new songs I've just written. It felt like an old school kind of night. After Jessica left, I was the only girl in the place. Just like old times. Although I've never done it and probably never will, it's so tempting when I'm adjusting the guitar in between songs to disclose the muse (or, in most cases, idiot) for the next song. But that's the beauty of the song, for me - in that I can take all animosity and drip it bit by bit into nice melodies and clever, curt & sometimes even rhyming lyrics. I've never told anyone (except maybe Dave) who all of these songs are about. Some are easy to guess, I suppose. The new ones will be trickiest to decode because no one has any idea what I've been up to. But none of the songs are about just one person - they're like a 3-minute collage of all of the good and the bad and even the only-okay people I meet, love, hate and love again. I never hate for long, it's tiresome.

But I'm truly grateful for the idiots. My newest track, "Another Witching Hour", would not have been born without idiot short guy, who just managed to irritate me enough to write it down on paper one night (and it can all be born in just one night). I'm not sure vindication is possible, especially coming from a slight girl like myself, but I might die singing as I try...

I really did want to trade guitars with John Kopf. I know his name is detailed on the neck, but that would just make it cooler for me to have. That way I would play shows and people would be trying to figure out who makes this suspicious brand of 'John Kopf' guitars.

Ahhh, I love Ricky, but who doesn't? The way that he answered his cell phone mid-chorus and drifted back in to the song without missing more than 2 beats was wonderful. He is truly a magical, atomic elf.

Thank you to Ethan for taking photos (showcased above), and for traveling so far east without fellow MTV-er's to assist. Thank you to Nick, Zack, Yessicah, Daveed and the Rock. And lastly, thank you to Tim, for being a noble and brave gentleman, for which I can only hope will inspire others in the years to come.